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Ever the optimist...

I feel like I'm always a very optimistic and ever hopeful person...
But I'm starting to think that there really aren't any nice guys left out there to date.

They've either all been body snatched.
Or this current batch that is in circulation are faulty and a little bit warped.

... Makes me a little bit sad in all honesty.

Dog VS Slide

Second 24 of this clip is GENIUS.
I defy you not to laugh.

A quote

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
T.S. Elliot

Singing puppies to sleep.

This has to be the cutest thing I ever did see.
Singing puppies to sleep.

A visit to gran-ma's

I went to see my Gran yesterday.
First time in about 7 months. Terrible I know.
More so as she only lives a 5 minute walk away :-/

Anyway - i'm so glad I decided to go.

She's a fantastically funny old bird and I have to say - i've become quite fond of her over the years.

As young children, we weren't very close to my gran and we saw her very in frequently.. This I now understand to be due largely to my own mother being suck a fuck wit, that she had pushed the family away from us. My sister and I just thought they didn't like us. There were never any christmas cards or pocket money or presents on birthdays.... All our cousins got them, we didn't.

They seemed a whole world away from us.

It's only as i've got older that I realise how important she is.
The matriarch of the family. 4 children, 12 grandkids, 4 great gran kids... and a million other relo's on her own side...

I still do not get on with my own mother, haven't spoken to her for over 13 years now (believe me its easier that way). But my gran is something different.

Although I call her granny - I weirdly still don't feel an intense bond to her if that makes any sense? I almost think of her as a funny old woman who is in somehow my life... but I don't entirely get why. Of course there's the connection and she's my mothers mum, i get that, but in the same way I've never bonded with my mother I feel the same about my gran. But I am very fond of her. I'd totally miss her if she was gone.

This is probably really quite hard for someone who has a 'normal' ish family life to understand.

But the only way I can break it down is like as if there was a broken connection somehow... Still in touch, still in the same area but the connection is not quite fully connected.

Anyway - she cheered me up no end.

She must be in her early 70's - she's a typical Jamaican lady (accent and all) - and when she talks to her friends (this funny british accent emerges that cracks me up)... She had to tell her friend (the pensioner upstairs) that she wasn't going to Bingo today (she goes EVERY DAY btw that's her vice) - she also wanted to show off that her grand daughter had popped in to see her as well.... I was smiling to myself.... thinking where the fuck did that accent come from?

She closes the window and resumes the normal jamaican accent as if nothing had ever happened.

Here's what I love about her:

She's funny and witty.
She has an amazing smile.
She has a lot of friends.
She pulls stupid faces like i do when trying to make her points
She gasps at things, actually gasps - that's pretty fecking funny in my books
She's generous and kind.
She feels pain but keeps quiet about it (sound like anyone you know?)
She likes a good gossip (i'm starting to see where i get it from)
She has AMAZING skin - like AMAZING!!!!! She's concluded her good skin and good health comes from the trees around her and that they breathe new life into her (she may be right!).
She's happy with the small things in life. Me too.

She really made my day.
She made me smile and feel happy inside.

You gotta love that.

I love Charley

It's finally happenned... Yep, the Remstar has finally fallen in Love!
His name is Charley - and he ROCKS!

He suffers with cerebellar hypoplasia and remains a bundle of exquisite joy.


I’ve mentioned this before on another blog I think...
But I do genuinely think I must suffer from some mild form of turrets syndrome.

I swore in a church the other day – whilst talking to a minister....

Fucking Awesome.

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with me?

Rems Vs Shyness

** I wrote this blog on 10.06.08 on a train ride back from Manchester - where I spent the afternoon with Ruth Badger from the Apprentice - and realised how much of a donut I actually am**

The biggest lesson I’ve learned today is to ask for help when I need it!

Yes, to actually ask!

Whether it’s for money, support, an object... or just a hug.. that unless I ask clearly for what I want, it’s not going to come to me... or it will.. but only after I’ve run a long and convoluted and complicated way around the houses to get to it.

I’m not actually sure if deep down I’m just an idiot..

Or if deep down my shyness, which does exist, is stronger than I ever imagined that it was.

I’ve always known it’s been there... but I’ve fought with it my whole life which is why I probably seem the complete opposite and come across as totally confident. Low and behold should anyone know that i'm 'shy'! To me shyness has always been a weakness. I know that’s not right but it’s how I’ve always seen it.
My closest friends of mine know it’s there in me too.
They’ve seen it and commented on it. But most people who don’t know me that well... would think I am the least shy person they know.

I think my shyness is like what kryptonite is to superman.. Paralysing and a fecking royal pain in the arse.

Ok, maybe not as harsh as kryptonite.. But it’s the one thing that’ll bring me to my knees when it’s crunch time. This includes crunch time at: Basketball, business, relationships... you name it... I think it’s been a major contributory factor to my own lack of success in many areas...

'My own lack of success' doesn't make me a loser - i'm just not as successfull as I had hoped I would be by now.

World domination is a rather large target to meet admittedly.

I’m shy around boys that I like... (but aren't all girls?) - so nothing ever happens because I’m too shy to say what it is I want.

I’m shy in business and don’t ask for what I need when I need it - to make me more successful.

I’m shy about my background and the shit I’ve endured & I remain silent when I know I should speak up and let people know the truth sometimes.

I had another annoying problem for a really long time...
Truthfully it’s still not fully gone away yet... But I’m getting better at it.
The problem was that if I was ever given a compliment - I would always reject it.. with a ‘shut up’ or ‘no I don’t’ or ‘don’t say that’ – until a very wise ex boyfriend of mine told me once what I was doing and calmly said to me... ‘Rem, the next time I give you a compliment all I want you to do is say ‘thank you’ and nothing else. Just accept it. Do you think you can do that?’.

I thought about it. Could I do that? I could do that.
Seems simple enough... Doesn’t it?
I said yes. And ever since I still do it to this day.. When I get a compliment now I always hear his voice in the back of my mind and what he said to me... and a little shy ‘thank you’ squeaks out of my throat.

Occasionally I lapse on this.. like the other day my best friend’s wife said to me as I turned up at the pub ‘Rems you look liked you’ve lost some weight’ and I said ‘Thanks that really sweet of you... but I haven’t! I think I’ve put some on actually’. Man I was kicking myself. I took her kind words and instead of just saying thank you, I pissed all over it like the EEJIT I sometimes I am. It’s all rooted in my shyness – and not wanting to be the centre of attention and not wanting to be noticed and talked about.... Yet I always am. Isn’t that weird?

Back to my shyness – I think it comes from a fear of rejection. I was often told no to things when I was younger. I was let down a lot... I guess that still resonates with me to this day.

I suppose my fear is that I’ll ask for something and I’ll get told ‘No’.
So I’ve learned to just stop asking. Which is bad.

I’ve realised that in business I do actually fart arse about quite a bit.. I talk too much but don’t say what I really want to be saying.... instead of just asking directly: ‘So are you coming to my show or not? If not... why not?’.

Instead I’ll tell you how wonderful it all is and why it’s going to be so good blah blah blah.. Instead of just saying ‘what size stand would you like today sir?’.

It’s the same with boys... Instead of saying ‘Yep, I like you and how about it?’.
I’ll talk about how wonderful I am, how funny I am, what a great cook I’ve become, how I love to travel yadda yadda yadda... but never actually say ‘Yes, I’m interested in you, shall we go out sometime?’ or words to that effect.

I’m 100% pants.

But luckily for me... I know all this and can work to make some necessary changes to these annoying nuances aka flaws that I have... enabling me to become a stronger business woman and a better partner for the poor sod who ends up with me :-)

Game on.

10 kittens.... Cuteness personified

Ridiculously Adorable.

I'm just misunderstood

“Improperly understood or interpreted”.

I think it’d be fair to say that I spend a large portion of my day to day life being misunderstood.

This is phenomenally annoying and frustrating.

This is not because I am unable to speak clearly and put across a point succinctly.
Quite the opposite in fact.

It’s more to do with being born a frank and direct person and living in a country where it seems to be much better to be wishy washy and beat around the bush – and never actually say what it is you really mean.

People seem to take being frank and to the point as meaning you are either arrogant or aggressive.

Is that right?

And does that really make me arrogant?
Why is frankness and being direct - associated with arrogance?

Or is that only the case when you are around people who lack confidence?

I don’t know… I’m just tired of it all.

I’m SO over being “misunderstood”.
Think I’ll just stop talking to people – unless I REALLY have to.
It might make my life a lot easier and stress free.


At the moment I am what I deem as being incredulously over weight.
I’m not happy with how much I weigh – and how I look at the moment.

It seems to be on my mind a lot lately.
I have to make some serious changes that are to do with my diet and my exercise routine.

Enough is enough.

Truly, it’s out of hand.

Anchorman - The movie

I was recently told about this film and am ashamed to say that for the last few years I have been ignorant to the knowledge of this films existence.

I am now a mad fan of this film.

Infact, when I'm in the bath or about to go to sleep... I put anchorman on and I laugh like a banshee.

They say that laughter is good for you and this film is better and cheaper than any therapy on the market, that i know of.

The films wit is right up my street and the humour jumps on my very last nerve, everytime. It's jam packed with nonsense but is the funniest thing i've seen in a very long time.

Will Ferrell is my new hero.

Love it love it love it... :-)

What i've been up to....

For a little there while life got a bit crazy for me.
I found myself enjoying being at work 15/16hours a day.

I became slightly obsessed with my new project, the actor expo show that’s happening at the end of the year.

Now, I cant swear to being fully over this obsession yet, as I’m still putting in a good 10hr day – but I am coming away feeling not as tired as I was during January and February this year. Man I was way under the radar for a while. I was too exhausted to talk to my friends, too tired to go the gym, had no energy to put my thoughts into my blog and was the biggest party pooper around. I don’t think I’ve really been out at all.

Does that make me a loser? Or just ridiculously focused?

I think a little of both I guess.

But would people say that of an athlete who at the peak of training cuts out certain parts of life’s pleasures? No drinking, no partying, no sex etc… Or would they say that they are completely focused on their goal and that’s how they should be… it is only for a few months a year?

Anyway – I like being completely focused. My mind is clear of shit and full of good stuff. Being so clear and focused sort of makes me feel a little bit powerful in some weird way.

I know what I’m doing! I know where I’m heading. I can see the end result. I’m excited by it. I’m challenged by it. I’m stimulated by it. I’m driven by it.
Those are the things that spurn me on.

Those are the things that enable me to go into meetings a confident strong person.
To approach people who are way out of my league and say ‘get involved will you?’.

This project has enabled me to meet, network with and connect with some amazing people.

That’s my tagline by the way: Network.Connect.Grow.
Yes, I’m a cheese ball, I know.

Along the way I’ve met some really incredible people which has made this whole journey all the more pleasurable. There’s the fantastic acting teacher who is very high up in his game and wants to be involved with this show. Full of ideas and has an equal amount of energy that I do (which is high).

I have made friends with an event organiser who is so knowledgeable and experienced that I sometimes feel like a small child in his presence. What’s remarkable is his abililty to share and be so open with me, someone who technically could be deemed as his competitor. He’s amazing and inspirational to me.

An American lady, who is kind warm and generous and again so willing to help with marketing.

All are renewing my faith in ‘good people’ existing still.

I’ve spent so much time around people who are secretive or selfish, by that I mean that they will only help or get involved in something if they can see how a situation benefits them first. I’m pleased to say that people like this are slowly and carefully taking a back seat in my life. Being someone who is generous, open and so willing to share what limited knowledge I do have, it’s difficult to be around people who are opposite to this.

But I’ve tried.

Anyway, today I have a mammoth amount of tasks to complete so am going to leave this blog here for today.

Hopefully I’ll be back with more updates soon, however I am keeping my video blogs as I go, I’ll upload them all one day.

Rems xx

Count your calories to get fit!!

I found a FREE calorie counter...

When you're about to bite into that Bacon sandwich that is dripping with fat aand butter... But tastes oh so good...

You can work out how much it'll cost ya here:

Women we're supposed to consume up to 2000 calories and men... 2500.

Jango and - MUSIC online

I had a nice tip off today that i'll share with any music lovers....

I had previously raved high reviews about but there is now a similar one trying to fight its way to the top of the 'Internet radio' charts.

Check it out:

It allows you to play music that you want by matching music to your favourite artists.

And it's FREE!

not sure it's as jazzy and sexy as but seems to have a large catalogue of music and allows you to socially network with people too.

Let's see if this one catches on.

Peace x

''Couples night''

It’s becoming increasingly hard to remain patient with friends who overlook me because I am not 1 half of a couple anymore.

Yes, I am single again.

My dearest friends repeatedly have dinner parties where I am not invited as it’s a ‘couples night’.

Umm, what the fuck?!?

And how very dare someone judge you on your god damn ‘relationship status’ in life, I think it’s a fucking outrage.

So, because I do not have someone’s hand to hold at a dinner gathering, that somehow now handicaps me?

Does being single mean somehow you are changed and can no longer converse with friends or eat and drink in an enclosed space now?

When did single-dom become some new form of disability?
Where you have to be excluded from things?

Did I miss that chapter of the book?

It’s pathetic and narrow minded and I think that when I am in a relationship(again)I shall not exclude any friend of mine because of their relationship status.

“Oh, you’re STILL single are you? Fuck you, you’re not coming to my dinner party”


A meal with friends is a meal with friends and a good night out with friends is a good night out with friends.. Whether they are single or have a partner.

Anyway, balls were royally busted today over this latest debacle…

And I was promptly invited to my friends for dinner this Saturday.


A good moan can sometimes be very successful. Don't accept any shit.
Get moaning people!!

Your dad dancing?

This is simply, brilliance:

I love this song SOOOOO much....
click here to read funny comments