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Confusing words...

A word that confused me as a child was… ‘Constipated’.

Up until about the age of 20 (sad I know) - I always thought this word meant or should mean that ‘you have the shits’ and not that ‘you can’t have a shit’.

It just sounds like something you’d say if you have a runny bottom isn't it…?
"I'm constipated today".

Yes, my mind is in the gutter again, I know… What’s new?

Penalty charges - Have you claimed yet?

Consumer revenge is just soooo sweet.

I think I mentioned this before on one of my earlier blogs...

Everytime the banks decide to charge you £35 or in some case £40 for a bounced chq or going overdrawn - they are taking the piss out of you.

Grow some balls - and go fight them.
You are ENTITLED to that money back!
You can claim up to SIX years back.... That's a whole lot of wonga!

I have 3 claims currently ongoing.

Lloyds TSB are the worst and really know how to drag their feet. It's almost an art form.
However - see you in court on Tuesday Lloyds!!

RBS Bank - Rolled over today and got spanked by me today.
I got the cheque this morning - full settlement; once they saw the court letter on their door mat.

MBNA - Have offered me half what they owe me as a 'goodwill gesture'.
Goodwill my arse. Pay up what you owe in full you sneaky bastards OR i'll see you in court fellas.

To put this simply...



Claim back your money today.

Sites below will walk you through it all whilst holding your hand, it's soooooo easy.

Don't let the banks pimp you no more.
Go get ya money y'all! - I used this site, their forums RULE! - Even the BBC tells you how to it!,24632,

Caister Basketball Tournament – WINNERS!!

Last weekend I went to the 25th Caister basketball tournament in Great Yarmouth.

It was my first year in which I attended as a referee and not as a player.
I’ve got to say it was much better attending as an official rather than a player.

It was definitely easier on the body anyway :-)

I went with the
Rocco’s Raiders men’s team.
They played really well the whole weekend and after winning 6 games in a row – came away the tournament victors! They completely deserved it too.

There were very few people in the crowd cheering them on…
The majority rooting for the other team...

It always puzzles me why people in this country so vehemently prefer to support the underdog and so few take time to appreciate real talent and skill. And actually support that.

These guys are good ballers and by being passionate and loving about the sport, they are some of the finest players about.

They are not cocky and arrogant – but when they play – they want to win.
British sportsmen lack this.

Yet no one would support the raiders mentality of working hard and working together...
It always surprises me.. people, pah!

Anywhoo - More important than that - I got a table officials medal for doing the score book at the finals and I also got a gold medal from the boys as they had spare player medals.

I got TWO medals - WOOHOO :)

Great weekend.
It was lovely hanging with the fella's and having a laugh.

My POPPY fuelled dream

I was being kidnapped or being taken somewhere (I don’t know why) – but had the overwhelming sense that I was going to be killed. I was being taken somewhere against my will and I did not know why.

We changed cars and ended up in a silver car with no passenger door or no rear passenger door on the left hand side. I remember thinking that I was going to be well ventilated.

Catherine Tate was one of my kidnappers?!
But she had a bit of a soft side.
Like she’d shout at the bad guys if they came towards me.

And she also let me stop in Brockley, unpack my bags (that she had allowed me to take) – and on the roadside, well, on the pavement, I threw out a bed sheet and then covered it with a duvet cover but the wind kept blowing it back on me as I tried to lay it out evenly, so I had to keep doing it. In the end I just folded the duvet in half and admired my bed on the pavement.

Whilst I was taking my time throwing out the duvet (in the wind) Catherine Tate, wondered a little bit down the road and took her eye of me. I took this opportunity (although I was really scared) and ran across the rood into a newsagent/post office and starting writing my mums number frantically on a piece of paper and telling this black man to call the number and tell her that I was being taken to a gypsie caravan park in Sydenham. Tell her to call the police I was being kidnapped.

I could tell the man didn’t believe me… But I repeated the story and begged that he’d do it and not throw the number away, I pleaded. I was trying to convince him I wasn’t mad and that this was really happening.

When I thought I’d convinced him enough and that he’d do it – I ran back out shop, across the road and back to my duvet on the road, thinking I was safe. But low and behold, Catherine was already back and was hiding behind a half height brick wall. She pounced out with a big knife in her hand, shouting ‘I trusted you’. I knew she was going to kill me.

I turned and ran across the road, and jumped straight onto a fairly packed bus which was taking passengers onboard at the bus stop. I had no money but was able to sneak on the back door without the driver seeing me. I felt safe on the bus amidst numbers of people and ran to the back of the bus on the downstairs level. I sat in the corner seat buy the window. Nothing could happen to me now… I mean, there’s all these witnesses right?

The bus seemed to take forever to close the doors.

Then I saw them coming towards the bus, they walked past me looking at me through the glass.
1 of them stop beside me outside the window and held a gun to the window pointed at straight at me. He mouthed ‘I’m going to kill you’ - I cowered, shitting myself, thinking I was going to die now. Then the other bad guys got on the bus, pushed crowds out of the way and headed towards me. They towered over me and told me to get off the bus. I said no and started yelling ‘someone call the police’. Nobody seemed to do so. I said confidently to them: ‘you can’t do anything to me; there are all these people here’.

They shot the person next to me in the chest. Everyone started screaming.
They asked me if anyone else needed to die or would I get off the bus?I thought about it….

Then I got up to get off the bus with these guys. It was terrifying, but I couldn’t allow anyone else to get shot. I kept yelling ‘They are taking me to Sydenham to the caravan park please call the police. My mums number is 07939 blah blah. Please call her. Someone please’.

At this point I knew I was going to die.
So I thought fuck this shit - and just woke myself up.

It was far too early to get up for me and now I’m tired.

I knew eating that POPPY and LEMON slice of cake last night would do something funky to me and my mind…

Feeling emotional strained today!

I’ve just realised that there are 2 separate entities of people trying to get at me and knock down what I’m doing – in the most devious and sneakiest of ways.

The haters are back in town.

It saddens me so much inside that people can’t embrace things that are good around them.
But instead want to bring it down to their pathetic and sorry levels.

I’ve been ganged up on and bullied for the last year by a group of weak and characterless individuals. And yet I remain stronger than anyone of them could ever individually be – and I always will be.

Gangs are made up of weak people who don’t have the courage to fight their battles individually…Which is tantamount to why they have to come at me in a group… and don’t have any back bone to come at me alone.

Why is having strength and courage to do things – so frowned upon and envied?
Why is striving to be the best deemed as arrogance and not embraced and encouraged?

I love who I am.
I just wish more people got me sometimes.
So misunderstood.
But I’m ok with that.

I think today I just feel drained.
No I actually feel hurt today.

By someone who I’ve known for a very very long time. Someone who I thought would NEVER stab me in the back. Yet has done so. And so openly, it’s terrifying to me.
I have bigged this person up so much. Loved him like a family member.
No… More than a family member for most of my life… and now I realise, we can never be friends again. He’s lost my trust. He’s lost my respect. I’ll never bad mouth him as he does me. However I will keep my distance and move on. He’s lost out.

He’s lost me.

When my tears flow – it means the passing and flushing out of something bad, contaminated and un-needed in my life. So for today, I will let them fall.

And once they’ve passed – it will be like a new dawn breaking…
It all becomes clear again and I bounce right back.

Another life lesson learned and stored… All adding up and making me a greater person.

So all you haters, and I KNOW you read this blog… say what you want about me… Do what you want behind my back… Continue to try to bring me down… Because every time you do… You make me just that bit stronger.

Watch me rise like a phoenix time after time, just when you think that I can’t do it again.
And I’ll happily shit over you as I pass by.

"What will be will be… and so it goes… Times like these, times like those.”
Jack Johnson


1. You leave clubs before the end to "beat the rush". (worst still you don't go to the clubs)
2. You get more excited about having a roast on a Sunday than going clubbing the night before.
3. You stop dreaming of becoming a professional footballer / basketball player and start dreaming of having a son who might instead.
4. Before throwing the local paper away, you look through the property section.
5. All of a sudden, middle aged people are not 46, they are only 46.
6. Before going out anywhere, you ask whether there is anywhere to park.
7. Rather than throw a knackered pair of trainers out, you keep them because they'll be alright for the DIY or in the garden.
8. You buy T-shirts without anything written on them.
9. Instead of laughing at the innovations catalogue that falls out of the newspaper,you suddenly see both the benefit and money saving properties of most of the things that are in it.
10. You start to worry about your parents' health.
11. You have more disposable income, but everything you want or need to buy costs between 200 and 500 quid.
12. You don't get funny looks when you buy a Disney video or a Wallace And Gromit bubble bath,as the sales assistant assumes they are for your children.
13. Pop music all starts to sound the same.
14. You opt for Pizza Express over Pizza Hut because they do a really nice half-bottle of house red.
15. You always have enough milk in.
16. To compensate for the fact that you have little desire to go clubbing, you instead frequent trendy bars and restaurants in the mistaken belief that you have not turned into your parents.
17. While flicking through the TV channels, you happen upon C4's Time Team with Tony Robinson. You get drawn in. Grand Designs also appeals.
18. The benefits of a pension scheme become clear.
19. You go out of your way to pick up a colour chart from B&Q.
20. You wish you had a shed.
21. You have a shed.
22. You actually find yourself saying "They don't make 'em like that anymore" and "I remember when there were only 4 TV channels" and "Not in my day...."
23. Radio 2 play more songs you know than Radio 1 - and Jeremy Vine has some really interesting guests on.
24. Instead of tutting at old people who take ages to get off the bus, You tut at rowdy school children.
25. When sitting outside a pub you admire their hanging baskets.
26. You find yourself saying "is it cold in here or is it just me
27. You understand the above and forward this to all your fellow aging friends.

Chi-Chi boo.. Awwwwwww.

Man, Don't you just hate it when people show you pictures of their pets all the time and go on and on and on about how cute their pet is?? It's like.... So frigging annoying.

Sleeping beauty, Chi Chi.
She heard the camera shutter open and pricked her ears up at the moment i snapped her.

The foxiest cat in South London.. Innit?

Love this pic. She was having a good old wash behind the ears..

I've captured the flicking motion of the ear and the pinkness of her tongue whilst wetting her paw...

I'm a genius, I know it.

Ahem, this is her Actually, sunbathing...
Yep.. The only bit of sun light in the room and she was in it...
She was there for ever!

AND THEN.........

She was like... "Ooh, I better get the left side of my face.. You know, balance out my tan line".

And then sat in this awkward position for TEN minutes.
I could not believe it.

So... We've had words in the past about her sleeping on my pillow...

The cheeky cow does what she likes now...

What's a bit of nudity between friends?

Who ate all the 'silly' pills?

And don't you just look so comfortable, sleeping on the edge of the sofa?? Numb nut.


"Some people say I have attitude - maybe I do.
But I think you have
You have to believe in yourself when no one else does -
makes you a winner right there".

Venus Williams,
US tennis champion

Celebrity blogs

I was randomly surfing the web as I often like to do...

And found a list of celebrity bloggers:

Here here...

Of which my fave so far is Rosie O'Donnells:

I'm on Bebo... Finally

I've finally got myself a Bebo page.
So if you have a page too, feel free to add me as a friend on there.
Here's my linky poo's.

Beach on Good Friday

Happy Easter!

I went on a thelma and louise style road trip yesterday with my friend Lorna...
It was a gloriously hot day on Friday, Good friday none the less...

Sat on the beach.
Ate fish and chips.
Drank a few jars of the good stuff.
All was lush indeed!!!!!

Us just remembering that we had camera's on us, for the first time.

Me and the Lornstar (self portrait)

Found a little sweetie shop window (whilst in the biggest queue i've ever seen for fish and chips), it was just like in the old days, with sweeties in big jars on really high shelves..
Just like when I was little.

There was so much choice that I spun around in circles; and then I became a little overwhelmed and walked out not purchasing anything.

L didn't get any sweeties either (and she's a proper sweetie monster).
Too much choice is bad!

The town high st of Whistable.
Boring pic... I know....

I love this pic...
This is me discovering the self timer function on my phone. Wayhey!

Lovely blue skies.. It was a gorgeous day.
Can you spot the polka dot bikini...?

Looking out to sea from our beach blanket...

Some random kid playing about in the pebbles...
and a boat floats gently on the horizon...

Pebbles that we collected for Lorna's Fish tank...
Don't ask..

I think we'd been in the sun too long.

It was a lovely day out of the city and away from my computer.

Pigeons are not scary

May I just use this opportunity to say....

That... If you are afraid of Pigeons... You're an idiot.

Today I witnessed 3 girls 'screaming at' and 'running away' from pigeons on Lewisham High St.


Correct me if i'm wrong on this...

They were running away from tiny birds as if Godzilla had just roamed into town.

It was quite unbelievable.


911 - Loose change Movie recommendation

I'm not the biggest conspiracy theorist in the world.
I do know plenty of people who are though.

However, I watched this movie about Sept 11th and it raises some interesting questions about the chain of events... If not a little light on evidence in some instances.

Definitely worth a watch!

I give you: Loose Change - 2nd Edition


Volkswagon "Dancing in the Rain" commercial

Another of my favourite adverts:

The editing on this advert has been geniously mastered so carefully that I cannot fault it on any aspect.

The concept is simply brilliant and I love the advertising by line of:
'The original, updated'.

Which applies to both the original Gene Kelly clip and to the new car in question, the new vw golf.

Very fine craftmeship on this advert.
Brings a smile to my face everytime.

Citroen Car advert - I love this!

I loved this car advert from day one.
The music was fun, the creativity of the car becoming a robot is very clever and of course one cannot go without mentioning the fantastic choreography.

I still wouldn't buy a Citroen car.... But this is one of my favourite adverts: