Bye Bye Baby Tyrese

So yesterday was a pretty tough day.
We had to say goodbye to our beautiful little boy Tyrese.

He was finally adopted after being in our foster care for over 2 years.
He came when he was about 5 days old.. He was so tiny and from day 1 of having him, he was a little cutey with a smile that would melt your heart.

You couldn't help but smile when he smiled.
He was just adorable.

He progressed into a proper 2 year old.
Yes - A little monster!
An adorable monster none the less.

So we all very brave yesterday, I pitched up early and made tea’s and coffee’s (us Brits and our tea drinking).

We were all doing so well until the horrible social worker turned up.
A big obtruse prison warden looking woman.
Not a sniff of compassion and all she wanted to do was snoop about the house.
Lost count of how many times she had to 'use the toilet'.

I found it hard to be nice to her – I mean, adopting him out 5 days before Christmas, are you friggin kidding me? They treat these kids in care like they are products and not real humans who forma attachment. He already calls Bev ‘Mummy’ and Curtis (a family friend) ‘Daddy’.

Me and Francesca sat on the sofa fairly quiet the whole time, just taking it all in and playing with Tyrese for the very last time.

Then his new mummy turned up just after 12pm.
I really wanted to hate her. I really didn’t want to like her.

Beverley opened the door.
And I got the biggest surprise ever.

Tyrese flew towards her with a big smile on his face and was jumping saying ‘yes, yes, yes’ really happily. She scooped him up and said ‘My baby’s coming home’.

I suddenly felt much calmer.
Because he was happy.

And because she was really warm.
To him and to us.

She didn't have to be.

I then learned that he had spent everyday with her for a few hours over the last week and she had become familiar to him.

We all sat about for about 20 mins until the horrid social worker forced his new mummy to leave with him. We could tell she wasn’t quite ready to go... She didn't even finish her tea.

We got his jacket and hat on.

We gave him sneaky kisses and cuddles. He knew something was up.
Took some pics, which he happily posed for and then we went to the door with him.

His new mummy picked him up and he turned over her shoulder to us all, picked up his hand and repeatedly said ‘Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye’. With that hug smile of his.
With that cute little 2 yr old’s voice he has.
Frantically waving his hand.
Proud he could say the word bye.

That was it for me… I cracked.
He was waving like he thought he was coming back, like he’s done a million times before.
This time there was no coming back.
No more mummy or daddy.

I had to walk away into the kitchen, then locked myself away in toilet in floods of tears.
I wasn't expecting it to move me like it did.
I think its the idea of loss that hurts so much.

Francesca darted upstairs.
Bev followed out the door behind him crying. I could see her wiping tears.

The Social worker looked like a spare part – wished I coulda kicked her out of the house.
Unsympathetic cow – it was like 1 big transaction for her. Onto the next one.

Anyway, I gave Bev a big hug when she came in and we had a bit of a blub.

I had to pop home during the afternoon, but came back and cooked dinner for everyone and spent the night. The house now feels so empty.

No more little people.

Love ya Ty Ty.
Be good for your new mummy and daddy

xx