Old blogs that I didn't want to lose

Monday, May 12, 2003 ( 12:32 PM ) Secrets

I had a realisation this morning whilst sitting on the train going over the Hungerford Bridge, looking out at the River Thames.

I'm shit at keeping secrets.

Not intentionally shit. Just kinda accidentally shit.
Like I’ll 'accidentally' tell someone something that i know i shouldn't have said and then cover my arse by saying.. 'Oh, you mustn't tell anyone - because it's a secret.'

Well Rem if it's a secret why did you say it?Feck knows!
I think my problem is i like to talk too much.
And I’m far too honest - so i let everything out, I don't like holding things in.

But i like to think I’m a good judge of character... so the people who i do let things slip too, i kinda know they wont say anything... or at least that's what i think. But i guess people must have thought that about me too right?

*Sheesh* I'm a nightmare.

My worst has got to be casually telling my best mate that our other group of mates called his girlfriend an 'Oompaloommpaa' behind his back.('Oompaloommpaa' = Charlie and the chocolate factory.. the short fat people with Orange faces and Green hair).

Come to think of it - it wasn't even so much of a secret... more just straight up plain stoopidity on my part.

He didn't talk to me for a few days. Still trying to figure out why i do stupid shit like that.

Anyway, got work to do. I'm slacking! Just thought I’d air that whilst i had it in my mind.
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Sunday, May 11, 2003 ( 2:00 PM )
This time last Sunday I was on the train with my little foster brother (Now 11 or 12 - i forget), going to the Nike Freestyle competition at Earls Court.There were some incredibly talent players there with awesome skill and talent... Ballers, soccer players and even frisbee (!?!) players were all giving it some..Made me realise i've a got a lot of work to do on my ball handling skills. I could be so much better.
Thought i'd share a picture with you all.
~Remstar X


Saturday, May 10, 2003 ( 8:47 PM ) Confusion

I'm at a crossroads and am not entirely sure which way to go. The weird thing is that i've been at this very same cross-road before... and I took the wrong turning. I went a long way down the wrong road. It was an ugly trek back,I vowed then and there never to take the same route again.

Yet i'm here at the very same cross-road again. And just like last time... the start of one route looks so tempting, beautiful and possibly even magical - but it's destination is unknown.
Whilst the other route looks safe, secure not so exciting... but with a definite end in site..
There's no fear of the unknown.

My head tells me take the safe and known route.Whilst my heart keeps leading me up the more appealing and exciting route - the one with an unlear destination.
I've already tried the exciting route a couple of times.But I only go so far and run back again to the safety of the crossroad.
Is the crossroad a safe place to be?
Should I even be questioning where i'm going?

Maybe i should i just take the safe route - and be sure of where i'm going. That would be easiest.

That's not me. I'd have a longing to know what was on the other side.
I like to take a risk. I like to explore the unknown. That's just my nature.But i don't want to get burned twice going down the wrong road again.

Hmm. Confusion.
Time will tell.

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