Christmas blues… Sort of..

Ok, first off, I’m really not depressed!

But this year I do not have even the tiniest sprinkling, minutiae of Christmas glitter about me. Not one ounce.

There are no Christmas trees in sight.
There are no flashing Christmas lights or decorations adorning my home.
There are no presents for myself OR anyone else for that matter about my person.

There is simply, nothing.
Just me and the cat.

The Christmas buzz and merriment has simply not reached me at all this year.
And I seem to have acquired a small hint of ‘Bar Humbug-ness’ about me.
But not the evil, mean kinda way – just the ‘I don’t really care about it’ way.

Do I feel mean spirited? Not at all.
But I just have not got that Christmas feeling this year.
I’ve avoided the shops like the plague. It’s just beyond unbearable. That’s not fun.
There is no desire to rush out and buy presents for people presents, because I’ll only end up pushing myself into further unnecessary debt.

And everything also seems to be so much more expensive than in the old days. Have you noticed the price of things lately? It’s shocking when you really stop and think about it.

It’s not all about money either; it’s simply there is no desire to celebrate this year.

And ultimately who are we really buying presents for?
Is it to make ourselves feel better?
Or is it to give presents that really means something to the recipient?
Or is it more about doing what we always do and that’s just follow the same old routine?
Trying to outshine other relatives and showboating… ‘hey, look how good my presents are… Look how much I’ve spent… aren’t I fabulous’.

Other than the prayer before we eat… do we even think about what it is exactly that we are celebrating?

Or is it simply a day to have off work and to give presents?

Ultimately, for me, it’s about spending time with the people that matter to me most and having a good time and reconnecting under one roof, for one day.
That to me is priceless and what it’s really about.
So that’s what I shall do this year.

Eat, be merry, share love and my time and keep it simple.

Free lunch - just be nice

There was a BIG fire the other day in London.

I was sat in the office and as I gazed in that 'day dreaming' sort of way over my right shoulder and out of the window... instead of my normal sight of the canary wharf tall skyline... I saw a strong, big, black cloud spiralling over the big tower.

My first thought was 'Oh Fuck'.

My second thought was 'Tell someone'.

So I ran to the studio next door, who has no windows facing the fire and grabbed Jacopo, the resident Italian photographer.

He came rushing to look and also said 'Oh fuck'.

He ran and got his camera.


He took some pictures, uploaded them, and guess what, 'Reuters', loved it so much they offered money there and then for the pictures.

This in a 1hr time frame.

So he's been promising me a drink for drawing his attention to it.

Then today - he calls me into the office and gives me a big hug and say's 'Guess what'.

'Reuters rang me up and booked me to take pictures at a reuters conference'.

It was a big job, which he done yesterday and was showing me his amazing conference pictures today on his computer.

Isn't it funny how 1 small thing leads on to other bigger things?

Anyway - he's so delighted he's buying me lunch.
Good shit.

The City of London

Today I was in the Kensington / Chelsea area looking at a venue for my next event.

I haven't been around that area 'properly' in years.
I was quite surprised.
No, scratch that.. I was REALLY surprised at how affluent and lovely it is.

It's the type of area you'd like to live in but know, you probably never will.

The cars were all easily £50k +, the woman looked liked they all had had surgery and sported the famous san tropez tans, they sported REAL designer handbags, the shops were high class, coffeeshops and eateries were everywhere and people were spending money in these expensive shops like we aren't about to go into a recession... I think we are by the way.... it's just around the corner, i can smell it in the air.

It was just an amazing difference to what i see on the streets of Lewisham.
People QUEUEING to shop in Primark and by £1 underwear.

The streets of Chelsea were clean. As in litter free. No mcdonalds litter or chewing gum staining the pavements. Just clean.

The shop fronts were unobtrusive and there was not a sniff of a spray can or any sign of graffiti anywhere.

I felt like i had landed on another continent.
Yet this was London.

As I got on the bus to head south (I thought i'd travel overland today rather than on the underground, so glad I did) - I started to feel a little bit depressed... that doesn't happen to often with me....

But as i passed big ben and the houses of parliament and went over the bridge and shuttled along the congested roads towards elephant and castle I felt myself sliding down the seat... slightly embarressed if i'm honest.

The streets became littered, people looked poor, ill even, the high class shops turned into fast food chicken shops, closed down businesses were bordered up, window displays were covered by window posters.

I started to feel like i live in the ghetto.
I don't.
But that's the overwhelming feeling I got.

I felt a rot in my stomach.

Sometimes lifting our heads over the parapit can be enlightening - but it can also be a bit depressing when you see how the other half live.

I know i should be greatful for all that i have and all that i am... but sometimes...

I just wish....

Laughing Baby, Brilliant

If i'm ever depressed I think this'll always lift my spirits.
This baby has the most adorable laugh and is cute as a button.

I watched this 10 times today and laughed every single time.

Just adorable.

Another Birthday comes

OK, so in the usual fashion… It’s my birthday.
I always blog on my birthday… Every Year, come rain or shine:- )

How do I feel?

Umm.. The same as I do every year really.. Nonchalant.

Nah, it’s all good really.

I do find around my birthday – I’m a little bit more reflective on life, where I am, what I’ve achieved, where I’m going to, who I can live without, who I miss dearly.

I always plan to make changes here and there around my birthday time. I think we all do.
Some I actually do, some I just pontificate about…

But right now – life is good for me.
I’m healthy, focused, driven and content.

As usual there’s a lot going on for me.

Another season of basketball is about to start, my team, London Storm plays our first match tonight. We have a new team, with a fresh attitude and hunger for the game. It’s so exciting to be apart of it and to be apart of a ‘Team’.

My basketball events are ongoing and growing every year… the next event is in Dec.

The talent agency throws me challenges everyday – but my heart is into this so much – I know it will soon be a huge success when my brand name finally takes off.

I am planning a huge Actors Tradefair for next year – this event is coming together nicely.

And city superstar is about to roll in to town 

I don’t like to talk about my personal love life or relationships on this blog as I think it’s highly personal and something’s I think should be shared privately.

But I will say – I’m single again and am totally cool with that status.

Being single allows me to remain focused, not misguided and distracted.
Being single allows me to breathe deeply.

My only wish for this year is that I’d seen more sun.
My work and time has limited my ability to travel as much as I’d hoped for, this saddens me, but is most definitely rectifiable.

Tomorrow night I have friends coming out to a bar in London to celebrate my 31st birthday. The majority of them I consider to be my family and are people who matter to me the most in this world. They are Kelly, Jim-bob and Metin.

Whenever I see them they make me smile inside if that makes any sense to you.
I feel I can truly be me with them.

I can be a little bit wacky, blonde and even retarded if I want to be and they couldn’t give a shit. They know my heart and soul; and not many people do. They get me. My snappiness often is like water off a ducks back to them – it doesn’t even register to them. Why, because they know it’s often about something else and not them. We never argue. We just say ‘Fuck you’ and laugh at each other. Never has a grudge been held.

None of us are jealous of one another or ever try to bring the other down – we embrace who we are and I am blessed to have friends who I can be open with and whom just accept me ‘whole-heartedly’ for who I am.

Not ‘Remi the entrepreneur’.
Not ‘Remi the organiser’.
Not ‘Remi, the person I used to work with’.

But just ‘REMI’ – and all that comes with that.

Right now, I am reading a book called ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne.
It’s about the Law of attraction and focusing your mind on the things that you want and I’m finding it’s evoking a lot in me right now.

That’s all I’ll say for now.

Love y’all x

NYC October 2007 - 3 day trip

My NY trip was cool.
I went for work and attending an Actors Tradefair in NYC
I have loads of pics of my time there on Facebook.... So those of you who are my friends on facebook, you can check it out there...

Here are a few anyway...



The show.




Me and the big sis.


Me and B



David Letterman Show

Remi Recommendations - Clothes and Make up

If in NY (or other parts of America) - You MUST visit a new store called Steve and Barrys.

Why?

This store provides you with quality clothing at shoes at ridiculously reasonable prices. It's amazing.

I purchased a pair of quality basketball boots for $14 - that's a little over £7.
I also brought a pair of jeans, decent, for $8.

They also have Sarah Jessica Parkers fashion line where nothing is over $15.... That includes designer handbags and quality shoes.

Better still - they use MAN-MADE products and NOT leather and other animal materials.

Genius.

check out: www.steveandbarrys.comto be wowed.
--------------------------------------

As someone who likes to wear make up I've found it tough lately as I am hyper allergic to most things I put on my skin. For example, if I wear Mascara and Eyeliner - besides the RED raw eyes I get, my eyes become so itchy, full of what I call 'Eye Bogies' and often end up with eye infections.

So I've been scouring the web for 'Chemical Free make-up' which generally appears to be quite expensive.

But I stumbled across a store in Greenwich Market who I must recommend to anyone who wants make up but doesn't want to poison themselves with chemicals.

So Organic
Eagle House
7 Turnpin Lane
Greenwich
London
SE10 9JA
Tel: 0208 465 5600

I purchased eyeliner for £5.50 and Mascara for £10.
For Natural and certified organic goods I thought this was v reasonable.

They also gave me some free samples of lipsticks and skin moisturisers to take away - and they offered a friendly, good, not in your face service.

Would highly recommend that you pop in.

Celebrity - Is Bull shit

Ok, I seem to be having a Britney Spears day.
Not sure what's going on with me today.

But what if this was your life?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NkXrl_lhDE

Seriously, it's the most fucked up and scary thing i've seen in a while.
2 young women facing THAT.

It's like they are not going to stop until she kills herself or harms herself.
That's scary, intimadating, invasive, unneccesary and dangerous.

Just WHY??

For a picture?
Wow.

Offer me all the money in the world... No thanks.

You would have to be inhumane to not feel a little bit sorry for her.
But some of you will say the opposite, just to be contrary and say well she has all this money, but you know what, whatever, she's human and this is just too much.

Britney is not fat

I'm astonished by how much the press are attacking Britney Spears about being 'Fat'.

Are you kidding me?
For a woman who's had 2 kids, she's in better shape than me, I haven't even had 1!

Just for the record... All of you who think she is fat, here's Something to measure her by, Beth Ditto.

I believe this is what is technically 'Fat'.
Britney is not even close. Come on people get real.

Dear Lorna

Hi honey,

I know you read this blog.
So here goes.

I MISS YOU!

Like THISSSSSSS MUUUUCCCCCH!

You know how 2 days before you left, it hit you that you were 'actually' leaving even though you knew for months you would be?

Well my moment has hit me too.

I keep going to my phone to text you an update you on the latest developments.. Or i go to call you for a quick chat.... And I can't.

That's mightly sad, I have to tell ya.

We all take friendship for granted sometimes I think and we don't always know what we have till it's gone.

Miss you loads babe.
I wish you well, you know that, but I wish you were here.
Honestly.

I wish I could've lied and told you all the worst case scenario's about going to live abroad.

But then i'd just be a terrible friend.

So i'm gonna pop a cork now, and blub some more at the TV.

Talk to you soon, hopefully x

X-FACTOR

Dear X Factor,
Can I just thank you for making me spend my sunday evening sat on my sofa BLUBBING at your show.

Why was EVERYONE crying?
No, seriously.

I ended up crying over the people who MADE it through and not even the rejects who I should've been crying for (good work by the way, they WERE shit).

Anyway, i'm glad this phase is over and now we can get on with the joy that is your show... 'Singing paupers who'll do just about anything' - at their very best.

And well done on kicking out the girl with the criminal record, i'm sure that now with all her hopes and dreams shattered, she'll go forth and stay clear of any crime that'll keep her in the ghetto. NOT.

Anywhoo,

Keep up the good work and i look forward to the next 12 weeks of sing-a-longs.

Toodle pip.

Remington of Lewish-Ham.

Michael Buble

Just for the record....

I intent to marry Michael Buble.
Right after I've married Justin Timberlake and divorced him that is.

:-D

*snigger*

Jamie Oliver - Raunchy Chef?

Now I know some people seem to think that I have a dirty mind...
But i'm interested to know if it's me or whether Jamie Oliver in his new show 'Jamie at home' is taking the piss.

In a 3 min segment about 'Mushrooms' i caught these words and sayings:
"Bare end"
"Knob"
"Drips"
"Toss"
"Taste the cream"

This was later followed up with the phrases:

"It's coming"
"look at the juice coming out"

Naughty Jamie!

The Mighty Boosh - Rules

This is just a reminder of the brilliance that is... Of The Mighty Boosh!

Man this show is TOOOOOOO good.

'Stealing the funk' and 'Mangina's' (as in Vagina's) - and Old Gregg.

This show just refuels me - it's fab.

Yellow Pages

Yesterday, as I walked through my apartment door... on the floor, besides the mail boxes, lay 6 copies of the latest Yellow pages.

I took 1 in to my flat and ripped off the unnecessary packaging.

To my surprise and delight - My company's name and address is in there!!!

Oh it made me whoop with joy.

Now I know it's only a small thing....

But all these small steps eventually lead to very BIG things...
Just you mark my words!

It felt as good as the first day the signage / placard went outside my offices to s=describe my business. I felt so proud!

Today was a GREAT and productive day, I worked from 10 - 9pm - Got Sooooo much work done on my latest project - tings are gwaan.... Happy Days.

;-)

Eat the ham

You know how women, whilst applying Mascara to their eyes, cannot do it without having their mouth open at the same time? It seems a physical impossibility somehow... Or just one of those many wonders of the world... Watch a woman on a train applying mascara.. yep, her mouth will be open :-O

Well in a similar vain...
Well ok, not really that similar at all really, more of a umm... a wonder really...

Why is it that when you are making a sandwich and you've buttered your bread, you've got everything prepared that once you open a packet of Ham it's simply not possible to get the ham on to the bread WITHOUT atleast popping a slice of ham into your mouth first.

It's just not possible.

No, Really.

Your mouth instantly starts salavating at the back, the smell makes your nose twitch and your
brain says to your mouth: 'Eat the ham, eat the ham, eat the ham'.

It's REALLY not possible to make a ham sandwich without the ham entering your mouth before it gets to the sandwich.

That's a fact by the way.

Soon to be 'home alone'

I'm counting down the days until I have my flat back all to myself.
Hopefully It won't be long.
Yay!!!!!!

It's been nice having company for the last few months - however...
Having my own space - is a gem and it's my own personal retreat - I do treasure that.

This bout of sharing has taught me that I can share a home with someone, when I am good and ready to. It's nowhere near as tough as i had made it out to be in my head.

It's nice to sometimes have someone around to bounce ideas off... (my head is full of them).

I have learnt that I am adaptable, more tolerant than I thought, am good at sharing and am overly generous to others.

It's gonna be great to get my flat back - just me and chi @ home doing our thang.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh.

My Habits

Since living with 'S-to-the-D' we have both noticed some quirky, slightly weird habits of mine. Which include but are not limited to:

* Leaving kitchen cupboard doors open.
Sometimes arriving home and walking into the kitchen IS like a scene out of the Poltergeist movie. I even annoy myself with it. I'll walk in and be like 'Why the fuck are the cupboards all open?'.. Oh yeah, that'd be me. Doh.

* I sneeze A LOT.
Like, RIDICULOUSLY a lot. Doesn't matter what time of the day it is. Man, I can sneeze.
If it were an olympic sport....

* I use stupidly outdated and 80's phrases like:
'Fuzzy wuzzy' and 'Razzle Dazzle'. Which all still make me laugh.

* I am the mad washer woman of STH London - man I can't get away from the damn washing machine. I Love the smell of clean clothes mmm.

I'm sure there's way more...

Karma is a ITCH

I think I have written about Karma before on my blogs.
I do believe in it. What goes around really does come right back around.

I know some people think its a load of old guff - but I don't.

Today my cat has learnt the lesson of karma.
Yes, my cat!

I think it was last week that I wrote about my well loved, well brought up, fed twice a day cat who is adorned with love - Getting into a fight with a homeless cat in the neighbours back yard.
http://www.remioduyemi.com/2007/09/angry-at-my-cat.html

I thought this was quite sucky on her part, i mean the poor homeless cat has enough to deal with... Sleeping in the cold, eating out of dustbins, avoiding foxes and other spoilt cats beating it up, not going to the vets for injuries, bugs or tooth aches... I mean the list is endless, he has a pretty rough deal to put it simply.

But Karma has now dealt with her for her recent antics.

For the first time in about 12 years... She now has FLEA'S!

That's what you get when you rumble in the garden with an unclean cat.
And she has been MISERABLE as hell.
Borderline depressed.

I've let her endure it for about 5 days now...
Mean? Probably.
Lesson taught? I think so.

Being such a clean cat - this has been quite simply AWFUL for her!
Being a bit OCD as well... Probably an absolute nightmare for her.

She has taken to sleeping on the floor.
She's off her food.
And she has the saddest eyes on her - that just say 'HELP ME' everytime I look at her.

Karma is a ITCH.

Feel free to quote me on that. Lol.

Are You the Favorite Person of Anybody?

There are a ton of reasons why I love the internet, I always have and always will do..
But i'm not going to spout my list today about why I love the internet.

All I will say is sometimes when you dig deep beneath the tripe, you fish about, follow leads, poke around crusty sites... and sometimes you follow your nose and truly embrace the idea of 'Surfing the web' - And sometimes... you stumble upon little treasure troves that make you smile, make you laugh, touch your heart and even sometimes, 'make you think' deeply.

Today's find is not about me saying I am 'someones favourite person', because actually, i'm really not sure that I am... (don't worry, i'm not looking for reasurrance on this from anyone).
Being liked and respected is very different to 'being someone elses favourite person'.

I'll be honest, this neither adds or distracts from my life, but i just think its a simple yet deep question when you reflect upon it.

I suppose all I am saying, is that I think it's a great question.
I also think that a lot of people would say 'no' to this question...
But I also think we all have our own favourite people...

But 'Are You the Favorite Person of Anybody?'

Watch this short film.
It's poignant.
It's interesting.

It's a great question.

A little bit of crazy is good

I worked late tonight... This was before I went out for a bite to eat for dinner and some drinks...

On the way to the bathroom before leaving the building - I passed 2 women in the hallway who had both just left another office...

Girl 1 started to talk to girl 2... FUNNILY enough this was just as girl 2 had just placed a bourbon biscuit in her mouth...

Girl 2 - started to reply with her mouth full of biscuit.. it sounded like this..

'Mmph mphu umph mer uh, yeaah?'

By which point girl 1 was now inserting TWO bourbons into her mouth and thought she would now continue the conversation with her mouth also full ...

'mur moun uhh he shher boon sur do err?'

At which point both clocked this was actually really funny and that there was now a third person in the hallway (yep, that'd be me).

Did they flinch? Cower in embarrasment??
Did they fuck.

Both decided, full mouthed to SPEAK at the same time, mouths full, with biscuits overflowing, whilst inserting MORE biscuits into their mouths'.

I was already giggling.

I'm now stood between them both - watching 2 woman having a biscuit conversation and making no sense whatsoever.

'Mmph mphu umph mer uh Mmph mphu umph mer uh Mmph mphu umph mer uh Mmph mphu umph mer uh Mmph mphu umph mer uh Mmph mphu umph mer uh'.

Besides stopping to laugh all I could mutter to the 2 of them was 'Fucking Brilliant'.

Both burst out laughing (mouths full still) - and then continued talking to one another.

In a weird way - I kinda knew what they what they saying to one another...
They also knew what they were saying to one another.

What was great about this whole thing was that this was 2 business women, who clearly work very hard, yet were totally comfortable enough to let their hair down, in public, be silly, not care who saw and just make each other (and me) laugh in the most juvenile way.

It was V funny.

I do think that being 100% comfortable with yourself is a priceless attribute that many of us humans don't know how to do properly or are too scared to get in touch with.

To be that comfortable, silly and a little bit wacky with another person who's willing to go to that place with you - to me, is just brilliant and so liberating.

I have a great bunch of friends who allow me to go to that place also when I need to...
And it is honestly when I am the truest to myself - when I don't have to apologise for my language, my behaviour, my silly thoughts, my bizarre jokes, for being a bit blonde sometimes or for just being me.

You should never apologise for who you are.
I do believe that. Yet, we all do it :-/

Embrace your crazy side people as much as the sensible side..

Because that also defines you, often more so.

No title, deal with it!

To all the scrotes, scumbags, leeches, users and insecure fuckwits that insist upon being in my life, flitting around in my world, hanging around me, sapping my energy, my spark, my pizzazz, my time, my friendship, my kindness, my heart and soul and just about everything from inside of me – to fill your own unsatisfied bellies with – how about you all just FUCK OFF.

Sometimes enough is enough.

Fight for your dreams - Lovely quote.

"Life is full of beauty. Notice it.
Notice the bumblebee, the small child, and the smiling faces.
Smell the rain and feel the wind.
Live your life to the fullest potential and fight for your dreams."

~ Ashley Smith

Is the grass always greener?

Being single can be a bit crappy, sometimes.
We all know that.

But being in a miserable relationship is even 'crappier' I think.

P.S. I'm not referring to myself here ;-)

Alabama ER

I'm not really sure how 'authentic' this picture is.. However, it is quite a thought provoking picture nonetheless.

Hmm, what would I do.

Will the real REMI please stand up?

... So here's the deal....

I've been co-habiting with a boy for the last 6 weeks - we'll just call him 'special drew' for now :-)

Yesterday I baked 2 pumpkin pies from scratch and thoroughly enjoyed it.
Yep, I BAKED - incl the shortcrust pastry!!!
Errr.. Hellloo!!

AND Yesterday I made a salad with CELERY and BEETROOT in it.
Are you fucking serious?? Yes I am, and do you know what.. I enjoyed every mouthful of it.
These are 2 vegetables that from a very young age I detested.
Celery always tasted like posion.
Now I love them. It's totally freaking weird.

I think today, I might put a dress on...

Ummmm......

'Are you my dad?'

There’s a man in the gym I’ve started to see recently.

And there’s something about him, I’m not sure what it is, or why it is, but I have this overwhelming sensation every time I see him, that he is my father.

I’m fully aware that that is a strange and bizarre statement to make, yet it’s truly something I feel.

I have not seen my dad since my mum and he split some 20 years ago.

I have no idea what he looks like except for a faded image in my head of an old sephia photo I saw once of him, when I was about 10. That’s all I have to go on.

What’s more peculiar, is how this gentleman in turn looks at me when he see's me.
I don’t mean in a sexual way.
I mean in more of a familiar way.
There is definitely a sense of ‘something there’.

Could it really be after all these years of no contact that the world is so small that he could turn up and be a local member of my gym?

I suppose weirder things have happened.

I’m truly stumped by this and have no idea how to approach this.
Surely you can't go up to a perfect stranger and say 'Are you my dad?'.

It would be the most incredible, amazing, powerful and inspiring thing that could ever happen to me, to find and get to know my father.

Angry at my cat...

I got really annoyed with my cat today for multiple reasons…

I let her out after her incessant whining to go out. And yes, cats do whine. She was pawing the window, meow-ing, doing that whinny meow that’s not a real meow but a half in the throat kinda sound that grates on your nerves after about 10 seconds.Then she would stare at me – then look out the window – then stare at me laying on the guilt trip that she had not been outside for a few days.

At this point, I should’ve guessed that she had spotted another cat outside, but she was just too smart for me on this one.

So I walked her out the front door, gave her the usual warning about ‘not crossing the road’ – like she even understands. And as I open the door to the street she shot out and down the stairs faster than I could say ‘I love yoooooo’.

The usual drill is that I give her 20 – 30 mins to roam about in the neighbour’s gardens. I go to the door and she’s waiting for me to let her back in. OR I go to the door, she isn’t there so I give 1 call and where ever she is on the street – she’ll come running home (yes, I have her trained like a dog). OR OR I completely get distracted, forget I let her out, and one of my neighbours lets her in the block and gives me a ding on the door bell to let her back into the flat.

Today, none of the above happened.

I went out after 30 mins – she was not there.
I went there after 45 mins – she wasn’t there.

So I go outside and call. No response. No running to mamma.

So I walk to my neighbour’s pathway and there I see her and she is squared up, face to face with another cat. All that separates them is a few steps. She now looks nothing like my tiny dainty petite Chi that we all know all love, she’s now 3 times her normal size as her fur is all ruffled, her tail is HUGE and she looks like some breed of monster cat all growling, hissy and gnarly.

So I call her – and we both know that she now has a choice to make, either – come to mamma (& lose face in this fight) – or hold her ground to fight off this cat.

She chose the latter and that really got my goat.

I’m thinking – it is I who feeds you, you cheeky cow.
It’s not like you can’t see or hear me standing here calling you.

So I thought fuck it. If you’re not gonna respect me, I’m not gonna respect you, I’m gonna walk over and pick you up like a baby and humiliate you during combat with this cat and then he’ll go and tell all the other cats that you are the resident ‘pussy’ on this street. HA HA.

So I walk towards her and I can see her slightly reducing in size because she knows it me – but now she’s doing that whole ‘tennis head’ thing – looking left to right, left to right, mummy to cat, mummy to cat….

The other cat seizes his moment, retreats and bolts away to the rear of the garden – Chi, catches him making his move and bolts after him to attack him again.
I was really annoyed.

Now, the thing is I don’t know if I was annoyed because:
a) I thought she might get hurt
b) because she wasn’t listening to me
c) because whilst standing outside dealing with her my toast was burning
d) the fact she was beating up a homeless cat – he’s got enough shit to deal with I think
e) because I thought I raised her better than that – to street fight, how undignified
f) because she was being all territorial and it wasn’t even her garden
g) the fact that she was acting like a CAT and quite frankly I’ve come to think of her as a human, she talks to me, she brings me things and she shows my love and affection.
h) the fact that my slippers were all muddy from traipsing through gardens after her

After 5 mins of me crawling through green bush to get her out I proceeded to coax her out with my foot. Every time she tried to do the whole ‘flip over on the ground and don’t I look sweet thing’ – I gave her a tap with my foot and forced her home saying ‘I don’t think so love’.

She got in the house and followed me to the kitchen.
I told her that was mean to chase the cat down like that.

She tried to rub herself against my legs as she normally does.
I wouldn’t allow her to.
She kept trying.
I kept moving away so she knew I was pissed at her.
I put her food down and left her to eat.

By the time she got back to the bedroom, I felt a bit bad so gave her a stroke.

I then went to the gym, and when I returned an hour later she didn’t come to meet me at the door as she normally does.

Now she’s sat in the cupboard in the bedroom, double pissed back at me (probably rightfully so), and is now not giving me any attention whatsoever.

That’s probably a fair cop really.

Why are fat kids funny?

Sometimes... The less that is said on matters like this, the better.

Coo weee - I'm back

I've not been blogging for a while 'kind of deliberately on purpose'.

I've missed not blogging regularly....
But I’ve also enjoyed not blogging as well... If that makes any kind of sense?

I suppose its the idea of just... sitting back and taking it all in wholly.... as opposed to taking in the tiniest bits of it (life and experiences I'm referring to here) and then rushing here to my blog to capture and regurgitate that sampling of something that has just happened or occurred.
Instead - I've just absorbed it all. Felt it. Lived it. Loved it.

And was just at peace with myself.

So much has happened in the last month or so and it's kind of hard to know where to begin really. But life definitely got a little bit crazy for me...
And I’ve loved every second of it. More on this another time.

But, 1 of my reasons for stopping blogging for a while was to see what all the parasites who visit this site regularly and steal or copy my ideas, would do in my absence... (Yes, I DO see your IP and know just how often you come here... Loser).

And what I had foresaw and predicted would happen - DID happen.

They blogged WAY less (cos they had nothing to copy) and when they did decide to blog...
Well, let's just say that even a kid with ADHD, pumped to the hills on coca-cola, sweeties, chocolate and even after popping a couple of ecstasy tablets to boot.... would find it hard not to fall asleep and into an instant coma from sheer boredom from my parasites blogs.

It feels so good to be proven right.

And yes I’m completely stroking my own ego, indulging myself in my own glory and superior ness and even sugar coating it with a tint of smugness thrown in just for good measure.

Why?

Because I’m good… and we all know it.

So there.

Victoria Beckhams TV show - Brilliant!

I'm just sat here watching Victoria Beckhams Fly on the wall documentary about her arrival in LA.

All I can say is that girl is good value for money.
I'd even go so far as to say frigging hilarious.

She puts tongue in its cheek like no one else i've seen in ages.
And anyone who can laugh at themselves and call themselves a cock, esp on TV... Rules!

Her PA is adorable!

This is gonna be a good series... Pisses all over Jordan and Peters fly on the wall poop.

Victoria Beckham is funny funny funny.
More of this please.

Know where you are going

I have this stuck on my wall in front of my desk - keeps me on point.
I believe it to be true.

Many years ago, the commencement speaker at a prestigious university asked all members of the graduating class who had a definite plan for their lives to hold up their hands. As he looked around the room, only three hands were raised.

Twenty-five years later, when the class held a reunion, the combined net worth of those three individuals exceeded that of the remainder of the class.

People who know where they are going always achieve far greater levels of success than those who merely drift through life, expecting circumstances to create opportunities for them. Successful people create their own opportunities by focusing on goals with an intensity that borders on obsession.

In this way, every action moves them toward their goal.

Little things that amuse me

Today I had to call a venue to confirm a booking for one of my events.

The person I had to talk to was called Mr All Cock.

As I left a message for him on the voice mail and said his name out loud...
I dared not to look at Hannah who was at this point sat besides me - pissing herself laughing.

That would not have been professional.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the car back from Glasgow last weekend I was bored so i decided to read the map...

I found a town called 'Lickey End'.

 

Jitka nearly crashed my car she was laughing so much.

 

The little things....

 

 

Remzilla

Anderson Cooper my new TV hero

This guy is funny as fuck.
I Lurve him!

If you have free time... Visit Youtube.com and punch in Anderson Cooper.

Very Refreshing indeed.




Interviewing Dave Chappelle - Really nice!

Fatty boomboom

I told a friend of mine today that I had put on weight whilst I was away on holiday last week.

I wasn't too happy about that at all. I actually weighed myself several times as I could not believe what it was saying!

 

He said to me that it was ok that I had put on weight because now there was simply more of me to love.

 

Awww. I thought that was really sweet thing to say.

 

 

... to a fat girl.

Sweltering heat to... Central heating...

I'm not really sure what is upsetting me the most right at this moment in time...

Whether its returning from the BOILING hot 40degrees of Montenegro to:

a) the cold and grey dullness of London

b) the rain that fell upon my forehead as soon as I stepped out of the airport (whilst still in my new flip flops)

c) OR the delightful pool of cat sick on my bed that Chi left as a present for my return.

 

 

 

Yeah, it kinda has to be C really doesn't it?

Are all vandals this thick?

As I left Tesco's today - I saw a car that was parked up and it had a parking ticket on it.
Generally, you can stay for 2 or 3 hours in the supermarket car park and then they ticket you.

Someone... had then vandalised the front of the car by scratching the following into the owners bonnet. They obviously thought they were clever in doing this.
However, their spelling let them down just a little...

"YOUR SCUM"

Apostrophe anyone?

All I can say is if you TRY to be clever.. then at least BE CLEVER.. not a dumb ass!
Also, how about doing vandalism somewhere where there isn't constant CCTV in action.

Talk about dumb and dumber.

I nearly took a picture of it but got scared and thought someone would think I had done it.

London Photographer I met today

I'm not sure if i'm buzzing off the course I attended this morning...
Or if their coffee they provided was stonkingly good...
Perhaps its a little of both.

However, i'm racing in 5th gear at the moment.. totally excited, inspired, buuzzzinnnnggggggg..

I'll write more on the course later... Women in Business.. trust me..Inspiring

However, 1 woman I met - I have now dubbed her as my favouritest favourite photographer...
Like ever...

Ok, well maybe for now :-)

There's something simplistic yet beautiful about how she captures her photos.
The was something special about her too.
She had amazing natural yet contained energy.

Her name is Laura Mtungwazi and her photography can be found here:
http://www.lkmphotography.com

Invasion of the moths!

.. I'd like to start by saying... I like moths.

I like all animals and insects (for the most part)...

But right now I am pissed off with ALL the moths!
They have saturated my flat and are making me wholly unhappy.

They are everywhere!
They fly into my head when i am typing. Land on my legs or feet and freak me out.

They wake up the cat when she's sleeping by buzzing around her ears.
She repays this by stalking them, hunting them, catching them and then eating them.

I think there may actually be a moth colony in my flat.
Do they even live in colonies?

Now anyone who REALLY knows me... knows how much i love socks.
I have a good few hundred pairs of socks.
Some might even say i have an un-natural penchant for the sock..

Well...

The moths are eating my socks like its a free giveaway at mcdonalds as soon as school is out.
I've lost count how many moths have had to die over this matter.

LEAVE THE SOCKS ALONG YOU SOFT WING PANSY ARSED INSECTS WITH BIG EYES.

I don't think it's right I'm so pissed off with moths.. Maybe I need to talk to someone about this.

AND NO....

I won't be purchasing MOTH BALLS.
They are proper rank.
They are for old people and people who have lost ALL sense of smell in their nostrils.
Moth balls STINK.

I'll stick to the traditional method of catch, splat and apologising profusely to the dead moth.

 

Exercise update

Soooo... Last week was a complete exercise write off, simply due to too much work and not enough time!

Besides last monday when I played basketball with Men for 2 hours, I did NOTHING else the whole week. I didn't so much as sniff the gym!

 

This week has been ..ummm marginally better!

MONDAY: Basketball with men, 2 hours, hot and sweaty!

WEDS: Gym, running and weights

THURS: Basketball 2 on 2 for 1.5 hours, hot and sweaty
FRI: Intention is to run on the road for the first time!!!!

..I'd like to say next week i'll be back on week six of my running programme..
However, i'll be on holiday, sipping cocktails on a beach and swimming in the sea..
Very litte running will be had me thinks :-/

Broken fingers...

.. Are not big, clever or funny.

 

Infact, they fucking hurt...

 

A LOT!

No crisps this week!

Besides TV... I have 1 other addiction...
CRISPS!!

... I decided on monday to not eat crisps for a whole week.

 

I lasted one whole day!

That's pretty pathetic isn't it?

 

I just ate 4 bags of walkers lite (like that makes any difference) back to back.
Not to mention the 2 I ate after lunch!

 

I think I may have an eating disorder....
In that I can't stop eating!

 

Or i'm just a fat greedy git.

Probably the latter.

 

 

Our office

My new desk.
Note the important features:

1 x Laptop
1 x Litre of innocence smoothie drink
1 x Bottle of water
1 x Michael Jordan picture to be put up
1 x mobile phone charger
1 x back pack.

What more does a girl need?





AVIT Clothing

Hannah's end... You can tell she works in fashion!














The lenth of the office....


We have some sorting out to do still....

We'll get there :-)

"The EX" etiquette

When you see an ex with his new girlfriend... Always smile sincerely.
Be polite. Show no malice or ill intent behind your eyes.
Be graceful. Not envious. Engage in enough conversation so as not to be rude.
Don't delve for any new information - who cares really?

Know that you are a better person for not behaving badly or bitterly towards your ex.
Even if you do want to spit in his eye.

Always say hello and goodbye.

Make strong eye contact.

Show him you just don't care anymore.. And that anything that was once there... Is now gone. Yup, allllll gone buddy.

...I just about remember your name my friend!

And as you walk away... Throw a smile that simply says
'Lovely to see you both and You're welcome to my sloppy seconds.... Enjoy'.

I sell people!

I sometimes think it'd be so much easier if I sold 'something'.
Like a real product!

My sister sells her beauty products.
Hannah sells her AVIT Tee's and Hoodies.
The studio round the corner sells Mirrors with weird decorative things on them.
My mate Ian sells his paintings.

I sell people.

Quotes I like

"Honest hearts produce honest actions".
Brigham Young.

Karma, Gym, pics - weekend update

Friday Day:

The day could not have started any better: I got a bank payment from Lloyds for my reclaimed bank charges. Just under £1500.00 – It took 6 months, a court date.. but I hung in there!!
Time to book that well needed holiday me thinks :)
Previous blog on this here>>

GOOD DEED OF THE DAY – NUMERO UNO

As I was driving to my mate’s house... I drove past a women with 3 dogs. 1 of them was lying in the shade… Like he had collapsed from the heat (it was hot on friday). I thought about my sis and her 3 dogs and knew I had to stop and help. I was already thinking I have 12 bottles of water in the boot – I can give her those for the dog. As I stopped to stare at this lady and her dogs the traffic started to build up behind me… and they started tooting at me to move on. So I whizzed around the corner and parked up… Ran down the road to see if she was ok.

She was fine.

The dog was a lazy bugger who just liked to have random lay downs the owner told me.

Anyway, she was delighted to have me run up and offer her water for the 3 dogs. She accepted. So I went to give her some bottles of water and realised that I was stood right outside of my friend’s house. So I went in and asked him for a bowl of water for the dogs. Thanks fully he said yes!Good deed done.. Ended up playing with dogs for about 10/15 mins.They were totally cute.

This dog made me pull over!

FRIDAY night:

I went to buy a bottle of Baileys in Tesco’s. Not sure what I had on my mind… But I turned onto a new aisle, and this woman nearly walked into me…I nearly screamed out loud! (thank the lord I screamed internally) – it was a woman in a BURKA. The only thing on view was her eyes. Which were behind glasses. The type of glasses that magnifies your eye’s, like 5 times bigger than they are.

So picture this: A TALL woman, completely covered head to toe in black, with magnified eyes, nearly colliding with me, whilst my head was already in cloud cuckoo land.
Properly freaked!

I can deal with the hijab – where the whole face is on show… But the Burka, wow! That's fierce!
Kinda understand the uproar it caused in france and teaching kids wearing it!
If it scared me....

It genuinely freaked me out. But I think it was more the big eyes. Big eyes in or out of a burka are fucking weird! I proceeded to walk around the store saying inside my head ‘what the fuck? What the fuck?’

SATURDAY MORNING

GYM UPDATE: Running wk 4 – Day 3

So here’s what I did today:
Run 3mins, Walk 3 mins
Run 4 mins, walk 4 mins
Run 3mins, Walk 3 mins
Run 3mins, Walk 3 mins

Covered 3k today – woohoo!
I done 31mins on the tread mill.
Done loads of push ups and sit ups today!

GOOD DEED OF THE DAY – YEP ANOTHER ONE.. KARMA HOOK ME UP ALREADY

After leaving the gym and passing my local fire station I was nabbed by a black fireman.I noticed there was a lot of black Staff about and no fire engines. There was a black DJ, Black nurses and black doctors all onsite.

It was a massive recruitment drive to get more black people to donate and get on the register for the Anthony Nolan trust. There are not enough black people on the bone marrow register and it being on it could help so many black people with leukaemia – so I thought sod it Rem, take 30 mins out of your day and do it!

So I did.

Fact: if you are white and have leukaemia there is a massive register and a 1 in 3 chance of finding a donor.

If you are black however, there is a 1 in 100,000 chance of finding a donor.
They be some sucky statistics.
So I gave a sample of blood and added myself to the register.

Knowing my luck – I’ll get called up straight away!
http://www.anthonynolan.org.uk/

SATURDAY AFTERNOON

An impromptu picnic, wine drinking and hanging out in Greenwich park…
What a glorious day it was. I hung out with some of the bball girls and our 2 coaches.

Sunbathed and took lots of pics, had a good laugh and catched up with the guys.
The weather was amazingly hot.
Drank too much wine!







< Me being creative

SATURDAY NIGHT


There was a gathering at my mate Jimbob’s house (on the left).

Old school mates congregating.
Drinking, smoking and playing poker.

I’m officially an old woman!

After eating a kebab and chips (you know it’s a must have after boozing all day)..

I think I fell asleep about 11.45pm on jimbob’s sofa.

I’m rubbish and I know it.




< Colin fell asleep before me teehee...





SUNDAY MORNING
Popped around to see my mum real quick this morning.
Kelly popped around to fix the leak on my radiator this morning.
Lovely to see him as always. Forgot to ask him to try and open my stuck kitchen drawer thought. Doh!

Went for a quick run today…

GYM UPDATE:
Warm up:
Ran 5 mins, Walk 3 mins, Sprint 1 min.
Covered 1k

Did 11mins on the machine.

I was supposed to do a timed mile today… could not be arsed.

Got on the bike and cycled for 10mins,
Got on the cross trainer and did 10 mins.
Push ups… Sit ups.

SUNDAY AFTERNOON

Met Richard for Lunch in Greenwich.
Ate a delicious roastie at the North pole.
Drank some pimms… yum.

Went to the Novotel and watched a Jazz act.
Was all very serene and civilised this avo!

SUNDAY EVENING

Went and saw my mate Ian in the Greenwich market. I nearly brought a picture for £120 off his mate… for my front room. Bottled it! That’s the equivalent of a short flight somewhere!




Took some pics of the burnt down cutty sark :-(







I met Lorna for a drink or two at the Trafalgar tavern.
We sat along the river front, drinking pimms by the jug (it’s the only way), discussing men and people watching. Man, we do that so well. Lol.



We’ve established: Size does matter!
If you’re short… No way Jose. Jog along.
A wee man is not a good look…. Unless of course you are wee yourself.
I however am not wee.



It’s really nice to have a girlfriend - who isn’t mental…
And whom I don’t have to phone, like everyday…
to validate a friendship.

They are few and hard to find!

Blogging worldwide - blog visitors! Part 1

Ok, so this is a little self indulgent...
Well, actually.. It's very self indulgent and self loving too yadda yadda yadda.

However I think it's really cool... So I'm gonna share it!

I've been looking at where my visitors to this blog page have been coming from over the last 24 hours.. There are quite a few regular visitors to this page.

There are some tres bon destinations in there too.. Thailand? Poland?

There was me thinking it was just my little circle of friends in London, England....

The power of the blog:

Texas, Dallas, United States
United Kingdom,England,
London, England, Luton
Canada,
Minnesota, Pequot Lakes, United States
Virginia, Herndon, United States
Thailand
Belgium
New South Wales, Sydney, Australia,
Victoria, Melbourne, Australia,
Podlaskie, Bialystok, Poland,
California, Mountain View, United States,
Sweden,
Delhi, Delhi, India,
Texas, Dallas, United States,

Love it!

Hello friends xx

Thou shall not feed the trolls.

This is one of the 10 comandments of blogging
(I'll post more of them in due course)


* Thou shall not feed the trolls. When people spew insults, pick fights, or take contrarian positions just for the sake of being contrary, ignore them. Insulting online miscreants or engaging them in arguments accomplishes nothing, it just further pollutes the pages with pointless back-and-forth.

I love the word 'Troll'.

'Muppet' is also good.

No sleep

... I've been up all night in front of my laptop, writing emails and surfing the web!

Tomorrow is going to be a sucky day for sure!

My cat who had a very good sleep next to me on the sofa all night...
Just Got up.. yawned.. turned around and looked at me through her sleepy eyes..

And stared at me.

The look said 'You still here? Are we not going to bed yet?'

There's real daylight outside.
And the birds have actually stopped tweeting as the city is waking up...

...Whilst Remington is going to bed.
Night.

5.40am.

My Kitchen drawer nightmare...

It's been 7 WHOLE days....
Yup SEVEN whole days...

Count 'em up...

And would you believe it - I've still not been able to open my god damn kitchen drawer due to some random sodding utensil locking me out (you know when it gets stuck inside).

I have survived a week with:
1 Teaspoon.
2 forks.
1 cutting knife (ok to cut an onion with but not a water melon grr).
NO eating knifes.

Eating porridge and ice cream with a teaspoon... ummm, that's just about okish.
With my big mouth though I need a proper size spoon.

However, SPREADING BUTTER with a TEASPOON on to bread...
Is really not a good look.

I can't believe this drawer is STILL defeating me.
I seriously can't get it open - and yes i've tried from the back.

I need MAN help on this one..
Gonna have to call one of my mates over the weekend to help me...

Mood: Pissed & utensil-less

I love Pitbulls

This is how pitbulls should be seen more in the media.
Man, I love these dogs.

With the right owners.... They are a joy to behold.

See my previous rant on chavtastic dog owners

PIT BULL - AMSTAFF
Uploaded by Miss-Petons

Big Brother 8 - Remi's first impressions of the housemates pt 2

22.00.
A Fat Orange faced nanny entered.
With a stupid thick annoying accent.
P.S I like welsh people really

Every Laura I know... Bar one is Fat!
I'm not naming my child Laura.

Her friends.. Yep her FRIENDS think she looks like Peter Kay.
A big fat northern bloke. Riiight.

I hope there's a running machine in the house.

QUESTION:

Why do they all keep screaming when someone walks in?
Can they not just say HELLO like normal people?

The old bird looks like she might pull aknife out of a drawer and stab someone any minute.

22.05 Nicky nicky nicky...
An adopted Catholic Indian bird enters.
FUCKING awesome - a bit of rebellion. She looks like she has cahoona's/
She smokes and drinks and is not religious.
She would choose Vodka over men. She looks moody and like she likes a good argument.
I want to be HER friend.


22.09 OH MY GOD.
WHAT THE FUCK IS IT?

SHE HAS A MOUSTACHE.
SHE'S LIKE 95YRS OLD.
SHE DOESN'T WEAR A BRA.
HER BOOBS ARE IN HER LAPS.
HER HAIR... ERRM.. KINDA SPEECHLESS...
Looks like a giant turd on her head.

SERIOUSLY... did they find her coming out of a mental health hospital.

SHE'S BI SEXUAL.
men and women would go there? Fuck off. I don't believe it.
Look at the size of it.

OK. I GET IT.
SHE IS THE CATALYST.

SHE WILL BE THE CAUSE OF ALL PROBLEMS / ARGUMENTS / CONFLICTS.
I bet she smells of piss and BO.

THIS IS GOING TO BE A GOOD SERIES... I CAN FEEL IT IN MY WATERS...

Nuff arguments to come...

I LOVE BB.
Genius!

Pissed..

Forgot to record the Apprentice on the BBC 1 whilst watching BB on 4.
Grrrrrr....

Big Brother 8 - Remi's first impressions of the housemates

Eating ice cream.
Decided to do a live blog and write my first impressions so that i can see how right or wrong I am by the end of the series. Impromptu so my typing might be a bit shit.

1st up - Sam and Amanda - Twins. Joint IQ (Yet to be discovered).
Think Olsen twins... Yup. JUST AS ANNOYING!
STOP FUCKING SCREAMING YOU IDIOTS AND LEARN SOME ACTUAL WORDS!
Seriously. Why were they not drowned at birth?

Next. Some old bird. Forgot her name already. But I foresee a mental breakdown and proper screaming outburst from her in about 2 months. She might stab someone as they sleep. whilst cackling to herself.

21.30 - Charley the 1st Black housemate enters the BB house... Quote 'I love money'.
She's unemployed and hangs around footballers and likes to party.
She's got long fake hair. Brought in 60 pairs of knickers. She wears hot pants and shakes her arse. My friend J would so bang her.
Bet she's gonna embarrass black ppl as all BB house mates inevitably do.

Tracey. 30 yr old hippy with pink hair. Looks like she needs a good wash and will have a BO problem. She also has a man's voice. Possible transexual. She likes dairylee. Fact.
I think she's gonna miss her spliffs and cocaine if she lasts the whole 3 months.
I don't think the housemates will like her. too Individual.
I'm loving that she had the word 'AVIT' on her floor and said 'AVING IT' as she walked in.
Big up my hannah at AVIT!
Her quote: unlucky kentucky.

21.45 Channelle enters.
From yorkshire. I hate her already.
Anyone who wants to be victoria beckham should be shot.
19. A proper Wanna be.
Ambitions: To be rich and famous. OK THEN.
She will have sex in the house... with anyone, so she can sell it to the papers when she leaves.
She will wear bikini's CONSTANTLY.
She will have conversations with the housemates WHILST looking in the camera.
She will cry for attention.
She will leave the house and get her tits out for a lads mag. Guaranteed.

21.47. Shabnam. Indian CHAV. Fuck off. Twat.
She likes people who like to eat.
Wow!
what a clever girl.
Nickname SHABBALICIOUS.
I repeat. FUCK OFF.

21.50 Emily arrives.
Blonde Indie girl. Likes rock boys. Looks like she'll be the honest sort.
Seems quite nice.
Favourite word: Hoodwink
That's a fricking cool word.
I like her.

Big Brother is back - HAPPY days!!!!!!

Channel 4 just got spanked by OFFCOM for allowing all that 'racialist and bullying' behaviour earlier in the year against Shilpa Shetty (Indian Actress).

There was no apology from channel 4 as speculated in the media.

Just an official ass spanking.

Weak.

P.S. ... I love Davina!
P.P.S .. I'm totally excited the show is back!

(There are 14weeks of this show - hence why it get's it's own label )

Running update - Wk 4 Day 2

Back on it today...

Ran 3 mins (fooking hard) then Walked 3 mins X 4.

I did it all as per plan... And it was tough... But I felt good at the end of it.

Covered 2.55km.
And spent 26mins on the machine....

I'm a little bit worried that i've only ever covered a distance of 2.5 km
Esp when i'm supposed to be running 5km soon :-/
...And 2.5km leaves me looking like a drowned rat when i've finished.

I hope this plan pans out for me... a little dubious it has to be said.

Just went to the shops AND.....

2 things -

FIRSTLY... why did it rain the VERY second I stepped out of the door.
And stop the second I got back in?

We are talking a 3 min window here - it hasn't rained ALL DAY!

SECONDLY... (Brace yourselves)

Ummm.....

When did it become acceptable to help your 2/3year old child, on a public high street, take a shit?

Let’s be clear…. Not a pee (that perhaps the poor little lad just desperately could not hold in).

But actually hold your child whilst he POO’S on the pavement.
I actually saw the faeces slip like a smooth milkshake out of his bottom.

Then his parent pulled his pants up.
Walked off and left a steaming pile of shit for all and sundry to see, SMELL, slip in or have to watch some dog lick.

Are you frigging kidding me?

Bestest products.. Like Ever!

1) Innocent smoothies...
I don't care if I have no money in my pockets - I'll find that £3 a litre for their drinks...
They are off the charts! All natural - All fruit!
LOVE IT!

2) Green and Blacks Organic ice cream...
I'm not normally a crazy ice cream gal - but when I see G&B's tubs.. 2 for a fiver... It'd be rude not to.

They are the best. That is actually a fact. Like really.

The Cutty Sark Fire - Devastating

Just for the record this SUCKS ass!

Whoever did this deserves their very own, personalised and pointy ship's mast shoved right up their crack for this.

As a child, we went on school trips every year to see this ship.

If i'm truthful - I didn't quite dig it as a child. I had no interest in it at all at the time.

But when it's something that you see (atleast once or twice a month) - and it get's taken away from you...
It kinda bruises the heart a little.

I'm beginning to see why people like history.

It was 138years old.

It was a powerful and dominating figure on the Greenwich landscape.
I can't believe that mindless thugs - left it looking like this.
It's beyond sad really.

How she used to look:

Fortunately the ship's rigging, seen here in 2005, along with much of the decking, had been removed to allow restoration work to take place on the hull. A forensic investigation has already begun, with police treating the incident as suspicious.

Pics are taken from:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/gallery/2007/may/21/1?picture=329885920
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/in_pictures/6675593.stm

Londoners Stop Whinging... Please.

Why do people always get so pissed off in stores because they have to queue for like..
Oh I don't know... say SIX minutes to get to a cashier?

Then they look at you (in the queue in front of them) - like you're supposed to agree with them at the inconvenience it is to their life. Err... How about fuck off, you sad miserable whining twat.

I mean seriously, are there not worse things in life to get stressed about and raise your blood pressure for?

Is SIX minutes REALLY that long?
Go on... Think about it.

They normally are: Grumpy old men / Grumpy (normally fat) women (cos their ankles hurt from all the weight they are carrying) / Or people in their 20's who are just discovering themselves and think it's cool to speak loudly in public - All huffing and puffing because they have to queue to pay for their goods.

Grumble grumble.. why have they only got one till open? Grumble grumble grumble.

Like there should be a cashier that magically appears, at the precise moment that they are ready to pay.

The above is also applicable for people waiting for buses, trains or for a waiter to come serve them.

How about one portion of Shut the hell up?

Running update - wk4 Day 1

Ok...

So i'm now on week 4 of my bupa running programme.
Hoorah!!

I even bought new running shoes on sat AND some proper running socks.
The socks are padded in the right places and they are also ventilated. They are like magic socks.

So I got to the gym this morning and realised that I had not picked up my running plan and didn't know what I was supposed to be doing today...

So i just free styled and figured I'd do the official plan task tomorrow.

So today:

I did: Run 90 secs x walk 90 secs X 4

I took it fairly easy today as I played basketball last night and ran my timed mile on sunday.

Then I hopped off and done shit loads of push ups.
Proper ones. Not girly ones with the knees on the floor...
Honestly, what's the point of that?

Tomorrows running plan is to run 3mins x Walk 3mins X 4 - Holly foccacia.

Ricky Lake... Looking good!

... Ok ok...

Now I know Ricky Lake looks great in this picture and has lost a shit load of weight and all... Well done love.

But what the fuck is up with that GINORMOUS head of hers?

She still has a fat person's size head.

And is that a bit of a man chest I see there?

Yeah I drink haterade...

... I don't care.

My fave blog (at the moment)

I found this blog about 2 years ago... Through the sheer power of 'surfing the web'...

It's called 'Anne... Straight from the hip'.

I just stumbled upon it and I love her writing, her style, her train of thoughts.. Just IT!
I love her photographs too...

She's a great writer.

If you fancy a read of a good blog sometime, check this one out.
You'll love it!!

I just read this one she wrote... It's a bit about PMS (See my own blog rant on this)...
and about people's behaviour. Great blog!
I like a woman who is not scared to use the Cunt word... IT'S JUST A WORD people!!!!
Get over yourself.

http://annecentral.blogspot.com/2007/04/in-last-half-hour-man-tried-to-run-me.html

Enjoy.

I Love BASKETBALL

Basketball is the one thing that allows me a true and complete escape from life.

I go there and I play hard for 2 or 3 hours and the only thing I think about - is BASKETBALL!

Me, my game, beating others and working hard!

No worries about bills.

No worries about fellas.
No worries about scabby girlfriends.

No worries about ANYTHING.

It all gets vanquished away.

The great thing about it is you don't realise whilst you are doing it that its reducing your stress and worries without you even knowing it.

I got home tonight - after an impromptu scrimmage - and I feel GREAT.

My sadness and disappointment of yesterday - GONE!

Onwards and upwards...

I Love BASKETBALL and all its uncertified healing properties!!!

I don't care how cool Michael thinks he looks..
He still looks a bit gay to me.

I laughed so hard when he bust this one out.
I was bent over in stitches.

Had to make him strike a pose!

http://www.shootaballnotagun.com

Saturday - BBQ at Mike Mum's 50th

Mike and His Ma..
She looks great for 50.
Bless her... It was a great party.
Superb food!














Me, Mike and Laura.
(Bball crew)

Me and Mike

Eric